The General. You know the type. Talks at you, and a lot. Tends to dominate proceedings. Makes decisions for the group rather than consults.

A recent Colmar Brunton poll surveying what bugs New Zealanders most at meetings showed that 30% of us recognised and disliked ‘The General’.

By controlling meetings, a ‘General’ effectively (and probably unconsciously) shuts down the kind of engaging interaction that makes meetings enjoyable and more productive.

That style of managing meetings generates an ‘elephant in the room’.

Most of us  tend to feel irritated by someone who controls behavior. What makes it so annoying is it limits our own ability to contribute. The problem here is not just with the leadership style, it’s also about participants’ fear of speaking up about it. So the elephant in the room is the collection of unspoken negative thoughts and feelings.

The solution is simple

Generals and everyone else can contribute. We have a natural desire to be heard and contribute and we feel valued when we’re consulted and included. By adopting a more open style, we encourage more equal participation in meetings, and we come away feeling more satisfied. No sign of elephants.

As both a leader and a participant, make sure you ask questions as well as offer information and ideas.

As a leader, create space for people to talk in small groups - to share their feelings as well as their ideas.