Skillset New Zealand Blog

Ideas to help your team develop personally and professionally.

Some of us suffer from an excessively high sense of obligation to others - making it difficult to opt out or say no to all the requests made on our time.

Here are some simple tricks to help you stand your ground.

Be pleasant and polite - just say 'sorry, but I'm already booked'. It doesn't matter if that 'booking' is a quiet night in with the cat. It's your time and you are entitled to spend it how you wish. You don’t have to explain why you are not available; you just have to state that you are not available.

If they insist, thank them for the invitation and repeat your 'sorry but I'm already booked' statement (You might have to do it several times if they are persistent. All you have to do is outlast them!)

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty when you've chosen to do something else. You matter too.

You can offer a rain check for another time that suits better (but only if you want to).

Enjoy whatever you have chosen to do!

About Alana Billingham

Alana Billingham

Alana is a director and senior trainer with Skillset, based in Wellington.

Alana takes workshops on a wide range of topics and is at the leading edge in the world in teaching investigative interviewing.

Some of Alana's negotiation clients negotiate multi-million dollar deals. Others just need to sort out arrangements with their suppliers.

Alana has attended a master class on investigative interviewing the UK and keeps in touch with her classmates.

Interested in training in leading virtual teams?

We’ll show your leaders how to keep your virtual teams motivated and productive.

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Interested in training in investigative interviewing?

We’ll help your investigators use some simple techniques to uncover the useful, accurate information they need.

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Interested in training in negotiation?

We’ll show your negotiators a method used around the world in negotiations big and small. It’s very different from adversarial bargaining or mere compromise.

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